How To Annoy The Final Fantasy XIII Cast
by JediMayukiDaAWESOME
Summary: Find out how to annoy our favourite l'Cie, one by one, chapter by chapter. Please enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: Lightning

**How to Annoy the Final Fantasy XIII Cast**

**Summary:**** Find out how to annoy our favourite l'Cie, one by one, chapter by chapter. Please enjoy!**

**Chapter 1: Lightning**

**Go up to her and offer her an éclair with pink icing**

**Ask if she's attracted to lightning rods**

**Ask if people run away from her when a storm occurs**

**Ask her for the weather forecast**

**Tell her you heard Snow and Serah having sex because she was screaming out his name for mercy**

**Ask her if she likes 'My Little Pony'**

**Pretend to jump back in fake shock when you keep poking her, and say when she inquires about it that she keeps giving you electric shocks**

**Ask if her hair is dyed or natural**

**Offer her fairy floss**

**Go up to her and ask if she knows when a storm will occur next**

**Inquire to her if she only got a stormy mood because of her changing her name**

**Jab her with a fork and pretend to have gotten electrocuted**

**Ask if you could borrow her power in a blackout**

**Go up to her and ask if she needs to brighten up her day**

**Paint her room pink and say it'll match nicely with her hair**

**Ask her how long it takes her to heat up her food**

**Ask her if she was the cause of Frankenstein coming back to life**

**Ask her about her people skills**


	2. Chapter 2: Hope

**Chapter 2: Hope**

**Offer him a job as a preacher**

**Ask him if he can relate to sheep**

**Ask him if he has a twin brother called Despair**

**Go up to him and ask him when his growth spurt will come**

**Plead him to be your councillor**

**Throw his boomerang behind his back and duck so it hits him when it returns and tell Lightning he needs more practice**

**Ask him if he still needs to ride with an adult on ride at a theme park**

**Give him a step ladder for his birthday**

**Give him a pickaxe and drag him to the group saying 'Hey guys! It's Dopey from the Seven Dwarfs!'**

**Make a book called 'How to Properly Kill Someone' and give it to him**

**Offer him a job as a hit-man**

**Steal his boomerang and stick it into a tall tree and watch him try to get it**

**Ask him what his old hair colour used to be**

**Give him a cane**

**Dis his driving skills**

**Ask him to help you lift something**

**Give him a free counselling voucher**

**Ask him to reach something for you**

**Touch his hair and say 'His hair's fluffy! Just like a sheep's fleece!'**

**Keep playing the song 'I'm Just a Kid' by Simple Plan wherever he goes**

**Ask if he's descended from sheep or Moogles**


	3. Chapter 3: Sazh

**Chapter 3: Sazh**

**Got up to him and say 'Your afro's getting gray. Is it the chocobo or your age?'**

**Give with a walking stick**

**Shoot his afro with his pistols and pretend to apologise because you thought he was a black sheep that you wanted to eat**

**Jam champagne corks in his pistols' barrels and see the results**

**Shave of his afro in his sleep**

**Bleach his afro in his sleep and either leave as is or put coloured polka dots in the so he has clown hair and/or put on clown makeup and nose**

**Dis his piloting skills**

**Put your hand in his hand before quickly withdrawing it and say that Chocolina shat in his hair**

**Straighten his hair in his sleep**

**Replace his guns with flare guns and see the results in battle**

**Take away all of his guns' ammo and see the results in battle**

**Put a sandwich in his hair in his sleep and pull it out the next day while everyone is watching and go 'Oooo, nummy sandwich!' and see his reaction**

**Offer him a job as a clown**

**Make a book called 'How to Properly Commit Suicide' and give it to him**

**Get him drunk and dress him up in a chocobo costume and see his reaction in the morning**

**Set Chocolina onto him**

**Ask him for some Gynsal Greens and smoke it in a bong in front of him**

**Shoot a chocobo with his guns and blame it on him**


	4. Chapter 4: Fang

**Chapter 4: Fang**

**Go up to her and ask 'Which parent was the dog, your mother, your father, or both?'**

**Say 'You're such a bitch sometimes ... is it due to your heritage?'**

**Steal her lance and cook a roast on it**

**Steal her lance and pole dance on it**

**Ask her if she howls at the full moon**

**Tell her that her dentist appointment is coming up**

**Offer her a bone**

**Go up to her and ask 'Why do you fight with a lance if you're a bitch?'**

**Give her a chew toy and/or a 'Beware of the Dog' sign**

**Buy a leash and a collar and put it on her while she sleeps**

**Scratch her belly and coo 'Who's a good girl?! Who's a good girl?!'**

**Chuck a stick and yell 'Fetch Fang, fetch!'**

**Offer her some Schmackos**

**Tell her to sit, beg and shake, or any other dog commands**

**Pick your teeth with her lance when she's looking**

**Set fire to her sari**

**Imitate her accent**

**Whack her over the head with her lance**

**Comb her hair while she sleeps**

**Say to her 'Fang! It's time for your doggie bath!' and see her reaction (in other words ... RUN, YOU IDIOTS!)**

**Use her lance as a back scratcher**

**Keep jabbing her with her lance**

**If she retaliates, whack her head and say 'Bad dog! Bad dog!'**


	5. Chapter 5: Snow

**Chapter 5: Snow**

**Ask him the weather forecast**

**Go up to him and ask 'In Summer, do you melt?'**

**Ask him 'Are you related to Jack Frost?'**

**Accuse him of being the cause of snow storms everywhere**

**Ask if his favourite desserts are snow cones**

**Go up to him and say 'You took too much Viagra when you were growing up ... it made you taller.'**

**Call up to him 'Hey! How's the weather up there?'**

**Nickname him 'Snowy Mountain'**

**Nickname him 'The Abominable Snowman'**

**Keep calling him a 'Snow Yeti'**

**Tell him you've told Lightning about him bedding Serah and now she wants to kill you**

**Dis his motorcycling skills**

**Call him 'Avalanche' whenever he hugs you or someone else**

**Ask if he bites**

**Ask if he hibernates in winter**

**Give him a book called 'How to Be Intelligent'**

**Say his IQ is below zero**

**Refer to his relationship between him and Serah and 'Hot and Cold'**

**Shiver whenever he's near you**

**Lick him and pretend to get your tongue stuck**

**Ask him what's harder, his fists or his head**

**Say he should enter the Winter Olympics**

**Ask about his thoughts on global warming**

**Inquire if he gets cold**

**If you get a cold, blame it on him**


	6. Chapter 6: Vanille

**Chapter 6: Vanille**

**Ask if her favourite ice-cream flavour in vanilla**

**Ask if she is supporting the Breast Cancer Foundation**

'**Accidently' set a wild Behemoth on a cute, innocent critter in front of her**

**Tell her she smells of vanilla**

**Kill a lamb for dinner in front of her**

**Ask if she's vegetarian while eating the above lamb**

**Steal her rod and use it for fishing**

**Use her rod to tie her up**

**Ask her if she ever wears clothing**

**Give her an animal trophy for her birthday**

**Punt a critter in front of her**

**Ask if you can eat her**

**Get her drunk and dye her hair black and silver and dress her up as an emo and await her awakening**

**Stomp on flowers in front of her**

**Give her a book called 'How to Kill Pretty Little Animals'**

**Steal her rod and use it as a type of swing**

**Put a spider on her back**

**Imitate the sounds she makes when she jumps**

**Give her a book called 'How to Properly Doom a Planet Without Failing on Your First Try'**

**Keep playing 'The Hampster Dance' around her wherever she goes**

**Ask her if Sazh has seen her l'Cie brand in the Vile Peaks**

**Keep throwing vanilla ice-cream at her**

**Ask if Fang and her have a 'Sweet Tooth' thing going on between them**


End file.
